I had what looked like the start of a cold last week, and it's hanging around, but hasn't really developed into anything. Or it's slowly developing into something. Really, it's a fairly constant sore throat and throughout the night I get all stuffed up and wake up with puffy eyes and an even more sore throat. Since Monday or so I've got a cough which is worsening, and today it feels like my lungs are on fire. Quick, someone call me a wahmbulance.
I was too late to get to the doctors, as they closed the same time I got off work, and were unwilling to stay open the extra 3 minutes it would take for me to dash over there, have the doc listen to my chest, stick a thermometer in my ear, look at my throat, and then direct his nurses to hook me up with an ass-injection and a prescription. My boss called over there to see if they'd see me, but nope. Too bad for me.
So I went to the pharmacist underneath the "hospital" and coughed at him and clutched my chest, complaining "apumneeda!" He gave me some green and white pills and two baggies full of sludge to warm up and drink. I gave him a lemon Chuppa Chups lollipop.
I want someone to rub me down in Vics Vapo Rub.
So other than that, not much is going on this week. On the way to work on Wednesday, I saw Mama Dog and her Barky Boyfriend scratching at and nosing something on the ground. It turned out to be the biggest fattest green caterpillar I've ever seen!
He looked angry, but he didn't have a hookah. I picked him up and he gripped my palm with his fat little legs appreciatively. He looked relieved. That's right, appreciative and relieved. I can feel the feelings of the bugs these days, that's how in tune I am with nature. Yuh huh. I deposited my green buddy in a tree where Bitch and Barky couldn't terrorize him and continued on my way to work. Good deed done for the week.
In other news, jealousy flows through me, as right now my mother and her boyfriend are on a plane destined for here:
San Andres, an island off the coast of Columbia. I've sent her an e-mail to ask her to make sure she brings me back plenty of seashells and cocaine.
Killing the Walrus*
3 hours ago