Fashion Police

I worry the baby might suffer some sort of damage, being in such close proximity to this outfit.

Meanwhile,...I've had some work done.


Gorgeous, huh?

Competition in Business.

Friends of mine have a restaurant in my little town. It's good to have friends with a restaurant, bee lee you me!

Anyhow, for three years their restaurant was seriously old skool. The tables were oil drums with a hole in the middle where you put the coals to grill the meat. The floor was comprised of little rocks and it was best if you dug your plastic stool into them before you sat down or you were liable to tip over. Those rocks, my friends told me, were hell to clean after a patron would barf over them after too much soju. The toilet out back was a squatter with no flush. After visiting the facilities you'd have to draw from a bucket of rainwater and head back into the loo to splash your "stuff" down the drain. The restaurant was small, only eight tables - and it was poorly ventilated. Boiling hot in the summer and freezing in the winter, it was pretty humble.

When I went on vacation in July, though, renovations were already happening just up the street on a building which was going to house their new restaurant. The place was gutted when I left and I had no idea what it would look like when I returned. Their grand opening was on the 1st of August and so they had already been open almost three weeks when I came back and saw the results. I was SO surprised! Their new place in gorgeous and it's so big! They've got those silver smoke suckers over every table and the stools are plush and comfortable and they've got a great patio with an awning that unfurls with the push of a button. There are two giant air-conditioning/heating units. Stalls! Sit down toilets! That flush! And sinks! With Soap! So posh!

I was really awed by the colours and decor my friends picked out. Very nice. I told them they should hire a manager to run their place and go into the restaurant design business.

And now they've got franchises! There are two other restaurants bearing the same name and menus, and tonight the husband portion of my friend-couple was away in Gyeongju helping another fellow scout out a location for a third franchise.

My friends are "moving on up" Jefferson style!

Last Wednesday I stopped by after work just to say hello and I found the staff (which has tripled in the new digs) absolutely in the weeds. One of the regular girls had a day off, and two other employees hadn't bothered to show up. Bigger place, bigger headaches sort of deal. I asked my friend (really half-jokingly) if I could help out, and she said "oh no, we're okay," but with a look on her face indicating they really weren't. The wait staff were running full speed around the restaurant. I dropped my bags and said, "Naw, I'm going to help."

And so I bussed and cleaned tables non-stop for two and a half hours. And then I did grunt work like polishing and sorting three huge bowls of chopsticks, spoons, tongs, and scissors, (essentials for a "galbi-jip") stacked glasses, and refilled water jugs.

And I liked it.
It's very "Diner Dash" and I sort of pretended I was playing a computer game while I was working. A long time ago I used to work in a huge restaurant in Toronto and it was one of my favourite jobs ever. I liked the camaraderie and the busyness and trying to ensure that customers were enjoying themselves.

When I returned from Canada in August I asked my friends what was going to happen to their old restaurant and they told me it had already been rented out. Their small place was sandwiched between a "Family Mart" convenience store and a chicken restaurant. The guy who owned the chicken joint is an asshole. His chicken sucks and his restaurant was always pretty empty. He didn't make any friends in the neighbourhood; everyone knew he was a jerk. Turns out he rented out my friends' old space and was planning to knock the wall down and expand his restaurant. Which he did.

Thing is, he didn't re-open as a sucky chicken restaurant. He opened as a clone of my friends' new restaurant! It had a similar design and exactly the same menu! I was so surprised. He's just so shameless and brazen. Sure, imitation is the best form of flattery blah blah, but that's not the case when you've got two restaurants serving the same dishes on the same block.

Let me say, though, that I'm sure this industry theft imitation isn't entirely unusual in Korea. If you've been here you'll notice that there are blocks of similar businesses. You want a puppy? Go to the area where there's ten pet shops in a row. Feel like eating some sashimi? Head on over the the Street of Raw Fish Restos. I think if one business has some success, other people will come along and open the exact same shop virtually next door in the hopes of leeching off your good fortune. It seems so slimy and underhanded to me, but such is Korean commerce.

So Chicken Asshole opened his new barbecue restaurant a few weeks ago with all the flourish a new business venture here comes with: dancing girls, blaring music, free T-shirts, balloons, and seven solid days of free soju! The place was packed and my friends were worried. I tried to soothe them into not sweating it, telling them Chicken Asshole had surely invited in some bad juju through his actions.

Sure enough, his business seems to be going down the toilet. Try as he might, he just doesn't seem to know how to make his food delicious. Ha! Customers would come into my friends' restaurant and confide that they'd been to the other restaurant and the grub was jinja mashiopda. So they returned to my friends' eatery where they know how to make pork rectum up good and yummy. My inner Hero for Justice has been smug and pointing fingers with a big "HA!" and "serves you right" to Chicken Asshole, who even contacted a former employee of my friends with an offer to buy the recipes for their marinades in the hopes of yummying up his meat. So sneaky.

Tonight I feel bad, though. As I walked by on my way home I noticed the copycat restaurant was closed and Chicken Man was taping a sign to the door. I wondered what happened. Turns out there was a pretty horrible car accident right in front of the restaurant just a couple hours before and one of their waitresses was killed.

I had wished bad luck in business to this man out of loyalty to my friends, but certainly not THAT bad. Jeeze.

One Reason I Dig Korea

There are many reasons I like it in Korea. Truly, if I hated the place I wouldn't be here, and I certainly wouldn't have stayed for almost five years now. I've felt a lot of things at various times while I've been here: happy, overwhelmed, frustrated, amazed, overjoyed, depressed, disgusted, curious, jaded, and so on. For the most part if you can name it, I've probably felt it.

I've met my share of characters here as well, and even though some of those have included drunken assholes, perverts, crazies, and aggressive overbearing men (and, to be honest - a few women as well) one thing I've never felt here in any real sense has been unsafe. I often walk the streets alone in the middle of the night, and sometimes even in strange surroundings and I've all but lost the wariness I used to feel in similar situations back home.

I was reminded of this when I spoke with my brother last night. He and his family went to visit my mother in Niagara Falls last weekend, and when his wife and my mom decided to head to bed he opted for walk. Some guy approached him asking for directions, and as my brother explained he wasn't from there two other guys attacked him from behind. My brother fought back and punched one of them in the face and kicked another, but still got robbed. Luckily he walked away a bit bloodied and shook up after the guys took off, but it could have been so much worse - and I spent the day being thankful to have all but forgotten what it's like to deal with punk ass criminals.

By no means is this La-La Land over here; there are a lot of issues for a foreigner to get fired up about. It's certainly best to be aware. But by and large this is a safe society where you can count on not running into wild eyed junkies in a park waiting to relieve you of your cash. Or worse.

I think of my friend Kevin who's "safe" back home in Virginia right now, but I wish him a continued safe journey once his walk resumes in the spring. It's a different world over there.

Meanwhile my general impulse, which is to cocoon those I love in bubble wrap and tuck them in a drawer where I can keep an eye on them has reared itself again. I'm not sure my loved ones would appreciate that, so I guess it's lucky for them my arms can't reach across the globe.

Bail Out

I'm hearing the U.S. is in a bit of a financial meltdown at the moment. Politicians are freaking out trying to come up with some sort of action plan to remedy the situation. I'm just wondering, but has anyone thought of asking Oprah yet?

Duck, Duck, Poo.

Duck.


Duck(s).


Goose.

Well, geese really.

The ducks, we like. The geese - not so much.

I mean, I love them. I love their silly necks and all the honking and especially the V-Format flight migration. Very cool. However, if they happen to swim by and decide to stop for a wee rest and to peck upon your lawn, they will leave you with the unfortunate present of piles of green slippery goose poo all over the grass. And, if you didn't know they'd visited you won't be aware of all the slippery shit. So when you're headed to the dock for some sun after a nice sleep-in and delicious breakfast done up on the barbeque, you'll slide on the green poo. And then you're covered in it.

And worst of all, you'll have spilled your Vodka Caesar.
Tragic.

Twelve

Today the sun will rise at 6:13a.m. and then set at 6:13p.m. which makes the day twelve hours long. (Plus, of course, the other twelve hours when it's dark. So it's another 24 hour day. No need to panic) I just thought you might like to know this.

Alright, then.
Carry on.

What Not to Eat

Earlier I was flipping around the television channels looking for something to watch while I tucked into my nice meal of fish, rice and a nice big salad. I came to the Discover Channel - my standard "go-to" if I can't find anything else to watch. I like just about all the shows on the Discovery Channel. I love the whole channel. It's such a brilliant channel.

Boom-dee-yada.

So the show in progress was Man vs Wild. Good! Bear Grylls is a mental case. I wonder what desperate mess he's going to be in this week! Well - lucky me, it was a compilation show. He's in all sorts of messes.

Unluckily for my appetite, the show focused mainly on the things Mr. Grylls eats and drinks whilst in the messes he's in. As he decapitated lizards and grasshoppers and bit into them, I stopped mid-chew. When he drank his own urine and then hoisted a great pile of elephant dung to squeeze the liquid out and into his mouth, I set my utensils down. And, when he gnawed lion-style on a disemboweled zebra, and then cut into the stomach of a dead camel to squish out its half-digested belly contents for another drink - I got the tinfoil out, covered up my meal and tucked it into the fridge.

Maybe tomorrow I'll feel like eating again.

I'm lucky that I don't do much any flying over the everglades, deserts, the amazon, or such places, because if I found myself in a Bear Grylls wilderness survival style mess, I would be deady-dead-dead.

But then he could come along, cut my head off, and squeeze himself a fresh braintini. So it wouldn't be a total loss.

Some Chow

It was my birthday last week and much celebration was had. I started off the day by stopping off at Dr. Dolphin's office and getting an I.V. in my left hand. Good times. Then I went to work where a cake was produced, a song was sung, and I was made to blow out candles.

Apparently I just turned six.

That cake was just another example of miscommunication. A couple weeks ago my co-workers were animated in the Teacher's Room, speaking to one another in Korean. One of them turned to me and asked, "what is your favourite kind of cake?"
I thought I was just joining in their cake discussion, and so replied, "Chocolate. No, cheesecake. No chocolate,...no,...ice cream cake!"* In my mind was a picture of some gorgeous ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. See I wasn't specific with my favourite cake, and so I was gifted a silly ice cream bear cake from one of the local bakeries. In all, it wasn't bad. It was covered in that sugary bakery icing my sister-in-law always requests on her birthday, (that stuff's good to have about once a year) and the inside was vanilla and strawberry. I felt bad hacking into the bear's face, but it was the bear's own fault for having such delicious choclatey ears, eyes and nose!

On the weekend, friends of mine took me out for lunch to some new seafood buffet restaurant. I think it was called "SeaMart" or something. You could order some quite expensive entree or just go for the all-you-can-eat "salad" bar, which had a lot more than just salad. We headed up toward the buffet. It must be a common complaint that the food on offer at buffet joints is generally just so-so, and in that respect this place didn't disappoint. Strangely enough, I thought one of the best things was the ju'uk - which is a common bland rice porridge. They also had a platter of crab legs, which you'd think would be awesome,...

but wasn't so much. I should have held my hand up for a size comparison, because these legs were about as thick as my ring finger. Delicious crabby meat? Not so much (of it.)

The best thing was watching what my friend Naré came back to the table with. She is a Food Stylist, that one.

It looked a lot better than it tasted.

Finally, I cooked myself up a batch of soup this weekend. Comfort soup. Onion soup. Those of you folks in Korea may have the same sort of kitchen set up as I do. I don't have an oven, but I've got a three burner gas range counter top thing with a broiler part underneath. This was the first time I attempted onion soup and it was an awesome success, reminding me of the French Onion Soup my mom gourmet-ed up in proper hollowed handled ceramic bowls when I was young. Google a recipe if you want, but what I'd suggest is first acquiring some stock. I used chicken stock that I made myself. If you ever get chicken off the back of those rotisserie trucks, or even order in something like Kyochon or what not, save the bones in the freezer. Once you've got a decent pile of them, make some stock by throwing in some vegetables and water into a bot with the bones. Bring it all to a boil and then reduce to a simmer for a good hour or two. Strain it all and cool it. Then you can skim the fat off and freeze that if you want to.

Onion soup is more often made with beef stock, but I found chicken stock worked well. I'm sure the fact my stock was so flavourful and, after it was chilled, almost gelatinous, made it even that more yummified. Next time I may try it with homemade beef stock. My friends run a "galbi jip" and I'll steal their bones and roast them a bit under the broiler before making the stock.

When you feel like making onion soup, get a great big pot. Slice some onions fairly thin and cook them over low heat for a long time in some butter or olive oil. Eventually they'll get all soft and caramel coloured. Sprinkle some flour over that, bring the heat up and splash in some white wine. Once the alcohol's burned off, pour in the chicken stock and let that party on a medium flame for a little while. Spice it up a bit by adding pepper and a couple bay leaves or (if you're lucky like me and have some) a sachet of bouquet garni. So yummy.

When you feel like eating onion soup, ladle some into one of those cheap ramen pots and slip some sliced baguette in. (I think Paris Baguette offers the best version.) Top that off with shredded swiss or gruyere or even mozzarella and put it under the broiler for a couple minutes until the cheese melts and browns a bit.

Seriously,...yum yum yum yum.

*As for cake, I'm SURE there's a cake out there that would blow my mind, and it's certainly not Baskin Robbins ice cream cake. I've learned to specify my answers for my location, and if I'd said "Manhattan Peanut Butter Chocolate French Devil Cinnamon Cheese Swirl layered with That White Stuff in Nanaimo Bars avec Macadamia Mousse" I'd have had to explain what the hell that was (if such a beast ever existed.) And so I answered like the question was "What's your favourite cake in Korea?" Actually, I edited my answer toward that question. Frankly, this isn't the best country for cake by any means. Luckily, I've never been a big fan of cake or pie. But good bread? Don't start.

Happy Barfday to Me

I spoke too soon in that lst update. I was not, as it turned out, on the road to recovery. I was on the road to canceling plans I'd made for my four day holiday one by one as I kept realizing and re-realizing that I was sick and tired. For real. Once again, can I get a "boo hoo?"

I imagine others were out and about doing things over the Korean Thanksgiving holidays and I'd like to ask you all if you happened to find either my initiative or creativity. I've misplaced them somewhere and I've looked all over the inside of my apartment and they're not here. They've wandered off. They may hae boarded a ship or a plane and by now they could be pretty much anywhere. If you see them can you let me know? Better yet - just jump on them and you can mail them back to me. Once I've gotten them back I'll get motivated and create something awesome as your reward. Something glittery.

Speaking of glittery, while I was back in Canada I kept hearing this song on the radio and I wasn't paying too close attention to it and I didn't know who sang it, but the chorus went on about "this is the time of my life." I remarked to my brother that this song must surely be the anthem for graduating high school students all over the land, and I don't remember what he said back. Probably he agreed and then asked me to pull his finger or something.

Turns out that this was the theme song picked for American Idol season 7 winner David Cook. I know this because they just aired the finale in Korea last week and I heard him sing it and recognized the song a few bars in. And then I heard him sing something about "magic rainbows."

For real?!?!

Had I been able to, I would have re-wound just to make sure I'd heard that right. Holy Cheese, Batman! I now know for sure he did say "magic rainbows" because I googled the lyrics. I guess I'm just too old and jaded to be able to handle this song. Or American Idol, for that matter. I like it when they're in the audition portion of it and they either show you the ones with fantastic vocal abilities, or the other ones that make you cough beer through your nose; they're so tone deaf and crazy. I find delusion to be humourous. As soon as they get into the regular part of the show, though, where they're featuring the songs of Barry Mannilow and start the broadcast off with a rousting medley of sparkly sunshine songs of the seventies I throw in my cards and have to leave the table. Otherwise someone's gonna die. I wouldn't even have been watching the finale, but I fell asleep during an episode of "House" and awoke to hear George Michael singing "Praying for Time." Now there's some lyrics for ya.

I wonder if David Cook rolled his eyes when he was first presented with this debut song he was going to start his career with. I don't know.

And now I'm a year older and I wonder will this finally be the year that I find my magic pony at the end of the whimsical trail of fairy dust on this sparkly yellow bricked road of a journey otherwise known as life.

Perhaps not.

But the law of averages means there's an even greater chance that this will be the year I finally throw up in my shoe.

Or something like that.

Hack

My former boss came back to the school on Monday and I got a hug at the end of the day. That was good.

I've been suffering with some nasty bug for the last couple weeks which has meant numerous trips to the doctor. Instead of the usual ass injection the nurses give me after my consultation, they medicated me intravenously through a vein in the top of my hand the past couple days. The doctor had told me "I think your illness is severe."

No shit!

I've been taking fistfulls of pills every night and gulping shots of cough medicine in the hopes I can sneak in just a few moments of sleep between violently hacking my lungs up. The inside of my mouth has a bunch of sores in it that Dr. Dolphin attributes to exhaustion. I concur.

Oh, boo friggin hoo.

Good news is it looks like I've turned a corner and am on the Road to Sparkling Wellbeing. Great! It's just in time for the upcoming four day weekend which shall be followed by the Massive Super Fun Happy Party Time otherwise known as my birthday.

Yippee kai yeah y'all.

Let Down Go

So my boss finished up last week. Now it feels strange. I'm working with strangers. Strangers who are strange.

Actually, they seem quite nice. My one new co-worker speaks English very well, and I dig that. She's friendly and talkative and she likes to spend a LOT of time in church. She's very pretty but it's hard to get a handle on her style of fashion. She's been working for a couple weeks now and I don't think she's repeated an outfit yet. The first couple days she donned dresses that Lucille Ball or Beaver Cleaver's mom wore back in the day. Then she relaxed a bit and sported jeans and a T-shirt (my uniform, pretty much) but this past week was a real mishmash. One day she wore a pinstripe bright red suit that could have only come from the eighties, complete with massive shoulder pads. The next day she was pretty in a beige peasant skirt, olive tee and fringey leather belt wrapped around her hips. Very Boho chic. The day after that, though, she looked like a nurse with a white short sleeved stretchy polyester jacket over white polyester slacks. All that was missing were sensible nurse shoes,...but her indoor-slippers were pretty sensible come to think of it. I don't really care one way or the other about what people wear, but it's interesting to witness this parade of fashion. She would be on both the best and worst dressed lists if she were a celebrity.

Anyhow, my boss's last day was anti-climatic. As I left to go home I went to say goodbye to her and she squished up her face in mock-sadness and said "bye, Jeeelllllyyyy." And that was that. I felt sort of let down. I guess I expected something genuine, maybe a thank-you for working (hard) for her for the last four years. Maybe a card with a note in it. I'd even have settled for a hug or a handshake, but nope. Oh, I did get a present. I got a little gift box from the Body Shop. Moisturizer and body wash. Whoopdeedoo. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, it's just that, well, I'M UNGRATEFUL! No, that's not right. More like I'm disappointed and she's ungrateful. I know it's silly, but I felt fairly abandoned. I was also surprised by how territorial I was feeling at work this past week. I keep reminding myself to relax and stop taking things so personally. I suppose it all boils down to expectations. It's better to just let them go and take things as they come, and I'm optimistic about what's to come. We shall see.

War of the Weather

Finally we're headed out of the molten clutch of summer here. Praise be to Krishna and Allah and whatnot. I got off easy this year, as the temperature in Canada during my three plus week long visit was pretty fine indeed. I could've done without the cloud cover and crazy-ass storms, but still shan't complain. Summer back in Korea was its usual thick slice of humid with a side order of hot and sweaty. Yuck. Now we're in transition, though - where the nights cool off enough to make you go "ahhhhhh," and you can sleep with the windows open and maybe even throw part of a blanket over part of your body. The days, however, are still "up there" temperature-wise. I don't consider 29 degrees with 96% humidity to be comfortable weather by any means.

It's after September 1st now, which means that the alarms go off in my co-worker's heads that now is the time for the permanent turning off of the air-conditioner. It's driving me mental. We've got more teachers than we've had in ages because the new boss and the old boss are still hanging around the school. (Today is Karen's last day, though - which makes me pretty bummed out.) So there are too many bodies in the Staff Room, which has no windows and two air conditioning vents. Teachers who aren't actually teaching sit in there and complain about the cold when the air conditioner is on. In another part of the school I'm running around juggling monkeys (my secret method of retaining my student's interest in my lessons) and teaching a bunch of kids who are busy breathing up all the oxygen in the room.

My least favourite classroom has one air-conditioning vent and a wall of windows that barely open, but do let in the sun which heats the room up good and sweaty. Meanwhile, the sedentary teachers enjoying break-time creep out and turn off the air-conditioner that I turned on as soon as I arrived without asking anyone's permission. So I walk through the lobby and turn it back on. So they walk by and turn it off again. Rinse, lather, repeat,...and I do mean lather. I get all worked up about having to teach while I can feel sweat trickling down the small of my back. The students also like to touch me all the time (trying to distract me so I drop a monkey, I think) and this just heats me up even more. I get so cranky when I'm shvitzing. My grumpiness isn't helped either by the fact I've been rocking a brutal cold for about a week now. Fever make Jelly sad. No matter. I'm going out this morning to buy a Rottweiler to guard the air-con. I don't get why my delicate little Korean co-workers can't close the vents in the Teacher's Room or bring along a little sweater to protect their goose-bump prone bare arms. Better yet, come and teach my class so I can park myself under a fan with a good book. Now we're talking!

It's not so much reflective of the actual weather outside as it is that my co-worker's have somehow been pre-programmed to think that September 1st = End-of-Summer. There shall be no more swims at the beach. We shall wear long sleeves. We shall not enjoy the comfort of coolness under the air-conditioner. I don't really get it, but luckily Bluto's going to bite the hand off of the next person who wants to play the On-Off Game with me.

Now in Colour!

I'm not sure why, but for a long time in Korea there didn't seem to be many choices when it came to car colour. Most days I can look off my balcony and it's a melange of black, grey and white cars resting out in the parking lot. Yaaaawwwwwnnn!


I've been noticing quite a bit more colour these days, especially on the cute little boxy looking cars people are driving around. I think it's nice to see some diversity here, even if it's just in automoboobilage.

Drive-by Comment-hate

I know I shouldn't let that comment mentioned in the previous post bother me. I tried willing myself to let it slide off me and away - like the proverbial water and the duck's back sort of thing,...but yet I've found myself thinking about it over the past couple days.

I don't think I'm a stupid person by any means, but I just don't get it. What sort of satisfaction comes from trolling around and leaving hateful message's on a stranger's blog? Does the commenter want me to pay a visit and spew my own vitriol his way? Tell him what an asshole he is? Is he that much of a masochist? Maybe he wants to start a comment war.

Well, I'm not like that.
To me, that seems,...well, "ugly!" And lawd knows, I'm all about the beautiful here in Jelly-land.

I have to say though - the thing that I REALLY don't get,...the thing that pisses me off the most - is how he's picking on something so innocent and defenseless. I mean, it's a CHIPMUNK! Sure, Chippy may have very well fallen down a tree or two - but I doubt it was "ugly tree." I don't even think there is such a tree. I bet Chippy's parents didn't think the(y) were "too ugly to procreate." They were just doing what comes naturally, and I'd bet they were every bit as cute as Chippy. And I hope Chippy was never laid by a human,...that's just sick, man. It makes me wonder what sort of perverse shit the commenter is into. Porn stars and rodents? I just don't get it. Now I kind of feel bad for posting the pictures of my chipmunk buddy. All he wanted was some peanuts and instead he gets peanuts with a side order of HATE!

Luckily I don't think he has a computer, so he'll never be the wiser.

In Case You Missed It

In my comments about the chipmunk post:

NIGHTMARE BELIEVER said...
"Oh God! You Canucks make me so sick! Especialy your picture. You hit each and every branch on the way down ugly tree and then must have broken your face on the ground. Did your parents not know the were too ugly to procreate?! Have you ever been laid....by a human? Holy smoke.....You wouldnt turn me on with a porn star friend."

Chippy

Mmmmmm....peanuts!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

As I mentioned before, "What's supposed to happen is that I head off for a sweet vacation in Canada and everything stays exactly the way it was when I left. Nothing changes, there are no new developments and when I come back and ask people "What's new?" they say, "Nothing!"

Unfortunately, that's not the way things work. My trip back to Korea was a little bit rocky. I spent my last night in Canada with my brother in his backyard getting fairly loopy on Wobbly Pops - though Jeff was far more wobbly than I. I started saying I should be getting to bed around 2:30am, but he disagreed and suggested we drink eight more beers. Some time later we heard a massive BOOM and my brother said, "What the hell was that?" I, being all fuzzy and mellow, checked the sky above us and reported it wasn't thunder as there were no clouds. It wasn't until I was back in Korea that I learned about the massive propane explosion that forced (a bazillion?) people to evacuate their homes. I'm still sketchy on the numbers. The fire was quite a long ways away from us, but still SO loud. My brother didn't even remember hearing it until I e-mailed him from Korea.

We were late getting to the airport. Actually, we arrived just over an hour before my flight, but I was told I was too late to check in and I should report to the counter over yonder to re-book. I was (all fuzzy) and mellow about this news, "What? I should spend another day or two in Canada? Okkkkaaaayyyy!" My brother wasn't as easy-going, "I've come to the airport FIVE MINUTES before a flight and still got in! %^#&*!!"

Nevermind,...an Air Canada lady came to collect me and told me I should buy a lottery ticket, as it was a miracle I was going to get on. (What really happened was they'd given my seat away!! Bastards! But it all worked out fine because I got a BETTER seat anyhow! I was originally in 37C, but ended up in 31A! SCORE!) The flight was fine, except for the man in the mismatched clothes with the brutal cologne who sat a seat over from me. I'm fairly sure he was the Phantom Farter on board. However, I LOVE the new online entertainment system that lets you choose what movies or TV shows you get to watch! I watched an HBO comedy special on Dane Cook (who I'd never heard of before) that had me all LOL'ing. (But, sadly, not ROTFMOL'ing.) Still, I got not sleep on the flight, and I connected in Tokyo to Seoul and then bussed it to Seoul's bus terminal to take a five hour ride back here and arrived a full 28 hours later. I was drag-ass knock-down tired.

Funny thing about jet lag and exhaustion,...sometimes it causes insomnia. (Who'd'a thunk?) So I was still awake when I needed to start getting ready for work. I called my boss, and bless her heart - she said I could take an extra day off to rest.

And rest, I did.

The next day my phone rang before work and it was my boss. I thought she was calling to see if I'd recovered and was ready to head back into work. I had, pretty much - but, actually she was calling to give me a heads up that SHE SOLD THE SCHOOL! My NEW boss was going to be at work and she wanted to warn me so I wouldn't die of shock, or something like that.

So nothing's really the same. I've got a new boss - a MAN - who seems nice and gives me big smiles throughout the day. But, he doesn't speak English and he fills the Teachers's Room with Korean-Man-Smell (a mix of soju and garlic? Those who have ridden the subway here will know what I'm talking about.) They've also hired a new Korean teacher as well who came in for the first time yesterday. She's tall - and so far that's all I've got to say about her.

I feel misplaced and disjointed and wishing I was back in Canada.
I think I may have overstayed my welcome here.
That might not be true, really,...I still feel welcome here - my students were overjoyed at my return and the people in my neighbourhood (the people that I meet, when I'm waling down the street - they're the people that I meet each day) seem to have missed me while I was gone.

Still, when I think of the people I flew away from it feels like a Big Hand is shoving its way inside my chest to clutch and squish my heart and lungs.

That can't be good, eh?

Meow

Kamikaze is good and was well taken care of while I was in Canada. I was very pleased to return to my apartment and find he hadn't used my bed as a litter box like he had the during my last trip. Here he is contemplating his scratching post.


And here's Mittens, my brother's cat.

She weighs about a quarter of what Kami does, so you tend not to notice her creeping upon you while you're sleeping. She then will attempt to lick all the hair right off your head. That'll wake you up - and it will definitely freak you out how INTENSE her face is. She's determined that all hairs MUST! BE! LICKED! OFF!

It Was the East

I woke up one morning in Canada because there was a big orange ball of light glowing on the wall beside my head, and I was all, "But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?" because I am so very Shakespearean in the A.M.

It was the sun arising once again to kill the envious moon.
Out on the dock, I think I heard an angel sing "Good morning, Jelly!" (And, "Welcome back to Canada!")

Sad Face

What's supposed to happen is that I head off for a sweet vacation in Canada and everything stays exactly the way it was when I left. Nothing changes, there are no new developments and when I come back and ask people "What's new?" they say, "Nothing!" As it was, I spent my time away not touching a computer (and I didn't miss it either) but was shocked when I returned to check my e-mail and find out my good friend Sher, of What Did You Eat? passed away on July 20th after a sudden heart attack.

I don't even know what to say, so let's meditate on this picture for awhile and be thankful that every moment is another chance to tell someone you love them.

I miss you, Sher.