Taxi Talk

I don't what it is with the taxi drivers here, but their line of questioning usually starts with asking me where I'm from, am I an English teacher, and do I live alone. When they hear I've only got a cat for companionship, they ask me if I've got a boyfriend.

"No? Why not? You're very pretty!"

My responses vary from a curt, "Ah, thank you." to "No I'm not. I'm a scary monster."
Bolder cabbies will then offer to be my boyfriend, and so I ask them how many babies they have at home.

"None? Why not? You're very married!"

The ballsy cab driver who chauffeured me tonight was so busy making googly eyes at me in his rear-view mirror that he wasn't paying attention when we rounded a corner and I had to point ahead of us and say, "Whoa! Whoa! STOP!"

A pretty woman with a big bouquet of flowers in one hand and a cake box in the other very nearly ended up as a hood ornament. Seriously, she jumped back with a look of terror on her face, and if she hadn't leapt in time we would have absolutely hit her. That would have been a crappy birthday present.

I've got to learn how to say "I've got a big huge boyfriend who would happily rip your head off for even asking me if I was single so eyes on the road, pal" in Korean.