Sunday, August 30, 2009

Puppy Dog Tales

In the previous post when I said there was "more tomorrow," obviously I meant "tomorrow" on Jupiter. Right? (Man, I'm such a geek - I just googled "How long is a day on Jupiter?" and learned that in fact Jupiter's day is under 10 hours long. Go figure.) Okay, what I meant by "tomorrow" was "a week on Jupiter," or something like that.

I went up and visited Bella and the puppies a couple weekends ago. It was a nice short visit; we only spent a few hours there, but it didn't start off so well. This time, I went with my boss and "manager." I like my manager, I do - but she is a Korean "Princess" of the highest order. I find it frustrating to accommodate her prissiness and have, on numerous occasions this past summer, decided that if she adjusts the temperature on the school's air conditioner just one more time she will surely die. She'll die and I'll go to prison for it.

So we're driving along and she's busy in the front seat adjusting a sweater over her body whenever an errant beam of sun dares to come through the window and shine upon her person. In addition to having crazy poor circulation and therefore a serious aversion to a cool breeze, she's also decided she's allergic to the sun. I sat glowering in the back thinking about how I could accidentally "trip" her so she could fall into some manure once we got to the farm.

So we arrive, and Bella - the sweet gentle shih-tzu comes bounding out to greet us and The Princess FREAKS OUT!!!! She's also terrified of dogs. So Bella got banished to a bedroom while we sat down for lunch and I sulked. I was there to play with Bella and the puppies! To her credit, The Princess did calm down enough to be in the same vicinity of Bella after awhile, as long as Bella didn't approach her. For some reason (Go, Bella!) the dog wanted to follow the Princess around and mess with her. I'd like to think Bella thought it was fun to bug her, but I think the dog just interpreted The Princess's screaming for excitement. Anyhoo.







Cutey cute cute cute cute.


The Princess-Eating Monster:


"Hey, Princess! I'z running at you to eat your face off! Raaaargh!"


"I don't have teeth yet, but I'm pretending this toy is The Princess's face. I shall eat her face off when I'm a little older."


After all the playing and the planning of eating faces, all the wee doggies were tuckered out.


Bella was too tired to make it through the doorway.


And so, Inshallah, this chapter of "Rescuing Dogs in Korea" will soon be over. We have found homes for the three puppies. They'll all go to Korean families and my boss has tried to placate me, assuring that they'll all be well cared for, vaccinated, and spayed or neutered. I don't really believe that, but what can I do? Bella is bound next weekend for a new life. She'll join an American family who already have a shih-tzu (a one-eyed male dog named Jack, how cool is that?) and she'll have four kids doting on her. I've learned Bella has a bad habit of wandering off, but I hope her new family will be patient with her. She'll be spayed and micro-chipped, as per U.S. army regulations, and will live in a gated community, where I hope the neighbours will recognize her if she escapes for a little solo adventure. I'm glad that this extended rescue story is coming to a close and I'm looking forward to not worrying about the outcome anymore. Yay.

Jupiter Fun Facts:
Jupiter isn't a rocky planet like Earth, it's a big ball of gas. Stormy gas. The winds on Jupiter gust at over 322 km/h. While a day on Jupiter is about 10 Earth hours, a year on the giant planet is equivalent to about 12 Earth years! Jupiter's equator spins at a rate of about 43,000 kilometres an hour.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I Got Your Cute

Right here, pal.


More tomorrow!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


I've been in contact lately with one of my former co-workers. I ran into her a few months ago at a department store downtown and we had a little chat. She seemed really excited to see me, which was a bit surprising. I hadn't spoken to her at all since she screwed us over a year and a half ago. She grabbed my hands and apologized for how she had behaved back then, and she had learned a lesson and she missed me so much and yadda yadda. Water under the bridge, I say - and we made tentative plans to meet up sometime soon - as people always seem to do: "Let's get together soon!" She followed up on that promise and I sort of blew her off. Not with malice, but more that I couldn't get my shit together to arrange some time.

Anyhow, she noticed recently that we're advertising for a new teacher and contacted my boss. There was some discussion. Karen advised to absolutely not consider hiring her, and I told them what I thought: that she was unreliable back in the day, but popular with the students. Maybe she's changed. I don't know. When my manager called to follow up, Sunny said she'd just started working at another school. So that was that.

Until yesterday.

I got a message from Sunny that her new boss was looking to hire a foreign teacher and wanted to talk to me. I wondered why. Did he think I might know someone looking for a job? Was he looking for advice? He wanted to come up and meet me yesterday after I finished work - at 11 o'clock! I declined, but said we could perhaps meet another night when I wasn't so tired. I mentioned this to my manager who got instantly suspicious and said I needed to tell the guy to call HER the next time he contacted me.

So, Sunny called me again today and it turns out her boss wasn't really interested in any friend I might have, he was looking to poach me! He was offering 50% more vacation than what I currently get, plus a raise in salary, less working hours, and an apartment downtown in the trendy university area. I laughed, and asked if the guy realized I already had a job,...and half joked "Hmmmmm, but more vacation and less hours,...hmmmmmm!"

After I got off the phone, I told my boss about it. I thought it was funny and frankly, felt a little bit flattered. Sunny must have given me a really glowing review to her boss if he was pursuing me. My boss, however, definitely did NOT find it funny. Within a few minutes he had worked himself into a real lather, and once my manager finished her class he had her get on the phone to Sunny to chew her out. Later, while I was teaching my adult class, the would-be-poacher called my boss and apologized profusely. After my class, I entered the Teacher's Room my boss was still reaming him out. I think he threatened to use his clout within the English School Directors Association to have him permanently shunned. Yowza.

Perhaps I should have thought more about how my boss and manager were going to react, but I never thought they would get so pissed off. I guess trying to steal teachers mid-contract is a serious offence. I can see that point, but now I'm also a little embarrassed that they didn't just leave it up to me to accept the guy's offer and ruuuuuuunnnnn awwwwaaaaayyyyy graciously decline. This might be the final fork stuck in the relationship between Sunny and I, but I'm alright with that.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Bees & Enns

I've got lots to post, but my keyboard is broken. I can't type question marks, or the letters after A or M. It's amazing how annoying this is, especially since I had a giat aaa oaza post plaed. (Using cut and paste - that last bit was giant banana bonanza planned.) Sucks.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sudden Vacation

My good friend Herb, who I used to work with in Japan, let me know on Monday that he and his lovely wife Mika were arriving in Busan the next day. I'm lucky I had some vacation days left over from last year and was able to wrangle a couple days off on short notice. (One co-worker is super pissed about having to cover my classes, though.) (Tough!) So I'm in Busan and just about to head out for dins. I highly recommend Busan. It's so the wonderful opposite of my sleepy little country neighbourhood. I'd like to also recommend the Elysee Motel in Nampo-dong. For 50,000 won I'm staying in a sizeable room with a giant TV, free computer, fantastic steam shower, and spending an hour this afternoon in the jacuzzi with a half of a bubble bar from LUSH completely mellowed me out. I feel max relaxed and everything is fiiiiine. How are you doing?

Sunday, August 02, 2009


He's got fangs, sure - but even more dangerous are the laser eyes. He's super pissed because he accidentally directed his lasers into a mirror and they reflected back, zapping off his ear.


Now he can only hear half of what I'm saying as I beg, "Please Kami, look away from me. I'll get you some fish, just please don't disintegrate me."

If I were you, I'd back away from your screen slowwwwwwlllyyyy.

Side By Side English Fail


Maybe these business owners used the same company to create their signage.


"Yea Won," but "Nay Engrishee!"


Salong Juan, and thanks for all the fish.