Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I've Got to Admit

I'm getting better. A little better all the time.

I went to the hospital today and had my stitches taken out. I've got a bit of an infection. I guess it's okay for now because the doctor didn't amputate it or anything. Actually, I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that there's glass inside my leg. When I was changing the bandage on my head the other day, I pulled out four little pieces of glass, and that area had been cleaned and re-dressed numerous times by three different doctors since the accident! I've also had to have more dug out from the bottom of my foot over the last couple weeks. My knee is still swollen and purple, but numb. I could jab a pencil in it and wouldn't feel it. Doc says it may be another month or so before feeling comes back, but maybe not. I'm still numb on the other half of my forehead where I fell about a year ago. Who knows? I still have a headache everyday, and my neck and shoulders are all screwed up. But really, I am getting better.

A few days after the accident I bought myself the fifth season of The Sopranos, and I was bummed that I finished it this past Saturday night. I don't know if the sixth season pt.1 has been released here. I haven't come across it. I lucked out tonight though, and found seasons six and seven of The West Wing! Yuh-huh, I've got 44 episodes on deck.

I wish I was sleeping better, but since I'm not I'm finding that I want to keep myself distracted at all times. If I give myself too much time to be alone with my thoughts, I tend to head down deep and dark tubes. My heart flips around in my chest and I feel panicked. I haven't felt like talking much. Everything bugs me lately. This post bugs me.

I have realized that I should become an actress. I'm doling out daily Oscar worthy performances in the classroom. I'm channeling Robin Williams in Dead Poets. So, there's that.

You know, fake it 'til you make it sort of thing.
How you guys doing?


sher said...

I'm worried about you! I wish I was there to make you soup. I would even pick the glass out of your wound! Hugs!

lindsey starr said...

ouch!! I just checked in, and haven't read your blog in a few weeks. SO SORRY to hear what happened! you need to stay more off of your leg though. Really. It sounds like I'm not the only one worried about you.

a friend of mine is still having repercussions 2 years later, after not staying off of his. and it sounds similar, as his was from an accident, and wasn't too bad, then got worse and all swollen, and traveled down into his foot eventually. it stinks, but you should just suck it up and stay off of it more. At the very least, use the crutches, and get a new brace.

Your legs are your base. you need them. Imagine if you had to deal with this for longer- just because you didn't do the right thing.

I had an "immobilizer" on my leg once for 6 weeks. It sucked. I can relate to your account of getting into the taxi and not being able to bend. I was at university when I had mine and had to deal with trying to sit in lecture halls too. yuck. But the good thing with it was I could unstrap it at night and other times, and actually be comfortable. Wonder if maybe they could find one of those? I'll try to google it for you and send a photo to show the doc. that way you could at least wear it sometimes :)

Jelly said...

Thank you ladies. I am getting better,...honest! And I'm trying to stay off it - and icing it, and such. It's getting much better.