Thursday, September 27, 2007

Time

I don't get it. I know it's supposed to be measured out in equal increments. Seconds, minutes, hours, days,...you know how it goes. And I've heard that one measurement of time is supposed to be exact to the other. For example, I think we would all agree that in theory one hour should be quite the same as another hour.

However, I can tell you that there is some sort of error. Something's amiss. I've just tested my hypothesis about "time glitches" and found that the suspicions I had are actually correct.

"VACATION" time goes by much quicker than "REGULAR" time. It's TRUE! I remember back to last Friday at 8:01pm and it was the start of my vacation. And here we are, five minutes later - and my vacation is pretty much kaput. How the hell does that happen?

I have another theory. I will bet that "vacation" time has many many more legs than "regular" time, and is therefore able to run much much faster. I'm guessing that "regular" time has mayyyyyybe two legs. Perhaps one. "Vacation" time, on the other hand, probably has somewhere in the realm of three million, two hundred and fifty four thousand, and seventy-one legs.

What I need to do is TRAP time and observe it. Under a microscope, I think. (I really should get myself a clipboard and a lab coat, too.) So I'm going to be busy in the next couple days coming up with some sort of container to capture "regular" time. Luckily, I'll have one more day next week - Wednesday - to trap "vacation" time. If I'm unsuccessful, though, I've either got to get someone else to help me. "Vacation" time is elusive, and I'm not going to see any more of it after next Wednesday until Christmas.

I'll publish my findings in "Popular Science" magazine. Oh, and here too.

3 comments:

Kevin said...

Have you ever read Stephen King's short story "The Langoliers"? It's in his collection Four Past Midnight. The story contains some funky notions about time, especially about what happens to the past.


Kevin

Annie Mosaic Cat said...

So when "they" say, "time is running out", do "they" mean that time is running out to do a half marathon, or that time is running out to do a beer run? Or in Mosaic Lady's case, a wine run?

These are the queries that try a mini house panther's souls.

Does Kami have a "special friend"?
Does he like the ladies? (Or the skanks, in my case.)
I'm thinking maybe we should give the cat innernets sumthin' to yak about and hook up?

I'm sorry. I've rewritten this post a zillion times. I can't focus on anything. Brittany has lost custody!

Sob.

Joe in Korea said...

and "meeting time" travels at a much slower pace. As does time during a bad date, boring class, or time spent at the in-laws.