Where You Aren't and Who You're Not

My students are acting all crazy like these days. I'm not sure if it's because the weather's cooled off a bit and they're not feeling so sluggish, or if it's because they've gone back to elementary school after their vacation and that's hyping them up. Whatever the reason is, they like to chase each other whilst screaming. Maybe when I was their age that was something I enjoyed as well, but I can't remember. Anyhow, I can't find the volume control knob on these kids. Today I woke up with an awful headache, and was already cranky when I walked into the school.

The school with the screaming and running children.

The younger ones don't have a very broad English vocabulary. They know "sit down" and "be quiet," and they comply when I request these actions. They comply for about three minutes, then they're up and at it again.

When the students start at our English school they're given English nicknames. I think it's a bit silly, but I'm also glad - as I have a hard time remembering Korean names. Today's second class was a group of nine year olds - or so - James, Lilly, Ellie, Scott, and Kate. In class this afternoon I told them I was changing their names. Now they are Shhhhh, Sit-Down, Be-Quiet, Calm-Down, and Seriously-Stop-Shouting-And-Sit-Down. These kids are bright, but like I mentioned, their vocabulary is limited. I often have to use the whiteboard for some visual aids. So I started our class with a lesson on "Where You Aren't, Who You're Not, and What This Isn't When You're Here."


You're not at the playground.


You're not at the zoo.


You're not at a wrestling match.


You're not an Opera Star.


You're not a Scientist Discovering Something Fantastic.


You're not a Sheep following Other Sheep over a cliff.


You're not a Patient at the Insane Asylum.


This ain't no party.


This ain't no disco.


This ain't no fooling around.

THIS, my little students,

Is a Classroom!!!

"So sit down Shhhh, take out your book Sit-Down, calm down Be-Quiet, be quiet Calm-Down, and Seriously-Stop-Shouting-And-Sit-Down -- well,...stop shouting and sit down. Seriously.

Here endeth the lesson.