I like spiders.
I like how hard they work making their webs and catching their food and repairing the damage their food makes in their webs. I like how they eat other bugs, especially mosquitoes. I hate mosquitoes. They have no redeeming qualities. They suck my blood, and bother me by squealing their high pitched whine in my ear just as I'm trying to go to sleep.
Even though spiders have bitten me while I sleep, I still like them, and have rescued many of them from the classrooms and the slipper wielding students bent on squashing them into little spider pancakes.
I don't understand, therefore, why there is a group of spiders living outside my apartment door who are conspiring to catch me an consume me. Everytime I open the door (which strangely opens inward) I walk into a network of newly constructed webs. Gross. A face full of web on the way to work doesn't make for the best start of a day. What the hell?
Apparently word hasn't gotten around Spider-Town that I am their admirer, friend, and hero. Apparently they'd rather try and eat me for lunch. Ungrateful bastards!
9 hours ago