Ajummas Gone Wild

Oh, by the way, me renting all these movies have meant I've been dropping by my local neighbourhood crap video store quite a bit these days. Mostly I've been paying them late fees, but I'm not even bothered about it. Being a day late returning one of their brand new releases costs only 700 won. Not even a buck Canadian. No worries!

I was on the phone a couple weeks ago with my friend Jason in Canada. He was working at his job at a video store. He only works there to support his real job of being a writer, director, producer, actor. Check it out. He and his brother have 3 films under their belt, and are working on a 4th one now (in post-production, I believe, which is why he's too busy to e-mail me.)

Anyhow, all that to say I was surprised to hear him charging the customers who kept coming up and rudely interrupting our phone conversation five, six, seven bucks in late fees! Yowzers! I guess the customers put up with it because it's a hip and trendy video store in their hip and trendy neighbourhood.

MY video store is neither hip, nor trendy. It is chalk full of Jean Claude Van Bad.

There are a cast of crazy characters at the video store though. The owner used to shake my hand and do that secret scratch-my-palm with his finger while he shook. I always slapped him on the arm. Lately he hasn't been doing that, which is fine by me. I really like the young woman who works at the cash register, she's so nice and friendly and can speak a little English. She's always laughing at me, and we talk about videos. Her favourite English movie is "Alexandria." I'll have to try to watch that again. I fell asleep in the 1st 30 minutes last time I attempted it.

The video store is attached to a little restaurant where I usually go after lessons with my boss. They make a delicious soon doobu jjighae (soft tofu stew.) One of the waitresses at the restaurant is so cute. She has spiky orange hair cut into a mullet of sorts, but the mullet part is pulled into a small ponytail. She always greets me with a sing-song "hiiiiiii!" when I come in, so for the purpose of this story, let's call her Mrs. Hii. If I get anywhere near Mrs. Hii, she grabs me and hugs me. When she hugs me from behind, she mauls my breasts. I turn red, laugh, and try to peel her hands off me. She's kind of short, so I just figure that's where her hands naturally land. I've given her the benefit of the doubt thus far, but what I witnessed tonight has me second guessing!

As I entered the store tonight, Mrs. Hii was on the video side, and she greeted me with a "hiiiiiii" and then kind of reached around and slapped my ass. I laughed, and she headed back over toward the restaurant, but jumped behind the video rack when the washroom door opened. She motioned for me to "shhhh" with her finger over her lips, and when her co-worker, a middle aged lady with dyed black hair and bright red lipstick, passed by the end of the rack, Mrs. Hii kind of jumped out at her and yelled "hiiiiii!"

This startled the co-worker, who retaliated by grabbing Mrs. Hii from behind around the waist, reaching between her legs, and (I'm guessing) grabbing all her pubic hair and giving it a good YANK! I couldn't really see what she did, as I was behind the two of them. I initially thought it was a one-handed dong-chimee (where you poke your fingers up someone's bum) but Mrs, Hii's resulting complaining "Ouuuuch" and holding was definitely more in the vaginal region than the derriere.

Lesson learned, though. I shall never jump out and yell "SURPRISE" at anyone over here. Never ever ever.

Weird, huh?