Thursday, February 23, 2006

Bums and Bummers

At work today I saw a headline on the MSN site which read something like "Catholics Angered by TV's 'South Park.'" I laughed, and wondered if this was the new style of reporting things: "News of the Obvious."

"THIS JUST IN: Bananas are yellow!"

Though I didn't read it, and by the time I got home, the link had slipped off MSN's site, I gather that it's referring to an episode which aired back in December. Here's some details via Boing Boing and here's a press release from the Catholic League For Religious and Civil Rights, where they note, "The episode in question featured a statue of the Virgin Mary spraying blood from her vagina."

I do believe that is the first time I ever read anyone make mention of the Holy Mother's vagina. Usually, it's "womb," which I mistook as an Elmer Fuddsian mispronunciation of "room" when I was a kid.

"And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the babe leaped in her room."
""Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your room!"

(Which also reminds me of the time when I was about 10, reading the newspaper in the living room, when I came across an article about a man being charged for animal cruelty after he left his German Shepherd outside in sub-freezing temperatures and the dog was found with parts of him frozen to the ground.
"Mom! What's a scrotum?" I called out to her as she cleaned the kitchen.
After an extended pause, she walked into the living room with a worried look on her face and said, "It's a man's front bum. Why?")

Finding out that men had two bums confused the hell out of me. But I've gone off track, haven't I?

Which is more offensive? A cartoon with Muhammed sporting a cannonball head, or the Blessed Mother spraying blood from her front bum? When are the Catholics going to start rioting? Should I be (more) concerned?

In other Catholic news, my co-workers funk was not lifted with the appearance of delicious macaroni salad. She was in a dreadful state today. I think she may be ill, which happens, but I can't understand why she just won't say that. The rest of us are walking around on eggshells.

In all honesty, I wonder if she's manic depressive. Her behaviour is usually right over the top. I offered her a baby dill pickle on Monday, and you'd think I'd just given her manna from heaven. She marveled at its size and it's cuteness, and then its crunch and its sourness, and, with exaggerated hand gestures, "Ohhhhh! I have never tasteed anytheeng like dis! Ohhhh!" Comparatively, the last two days she seems to have shrunk in size. She speaks in a small voice of a tiny scared helpless child. I empathize, I do. But I also want to give her a good shake and a "snap outtuv it" slap.

However, something I didn't expect today was what a very good day I had at work compared to just the average day I normally have. With my co-worker's gloomy silence, compared to her regular gregariousness, I was actually able to talk to the other two of my co-workers in English. Every break. We bonded with wrinkled brows and nods toward the Sullen One with secret gestures meaning "What's UP with her?" (Replies were shrugs of "I dunno!")

I hope she's feeling better tomorrow. We've got a big week coming up with class changes, new texts, and a new "school year" starting. I'm looking forward to the change. It'll shake things up a bit and re-energize the kids. The first couple weeks will be a breeze, as the kids are usually a bit subdued when they find themselves with new classes amongst new students. Should be interesting!

*UPDATE: I found the link to the MSN story. It's because the episode is set to air in New Zealand.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of.'
Clarence Darrow