The answer to "how am I supposed to teach tomorrow? (Can I?)" is "No, you can't." I feel awful for not going in, but I woke up with - I guess - a migraine. I cried until the sun came up and then cried a few more hours after. You know, for good measure. Then I went to bed and crashed. Totally.
The phone woke me up and it was my boss. She asked if I was sleeping and I whispered "yes," and she told me the time. My 1st class had started 5 minutes earlier. I hadn't heard the alarm. I've never done that. "Actually," I whispered to my boss, "I'm not feeling well. I've got a migraine." She didn't know what that was. "A really bad Headache," I explained. "Really bad." She told me to go to the doctors and get my ass to work.
So I walked to the bathroom, shielding my eyes from the daylight, and looked in the mirror.
And burst into tears.
No, no doctor.
No, no school.
Just a dark room and quiet.
I called my boss back and told her "You know that I come to work even if I'm sick. I always come if I can. But today, I can't." I told her I was sorry. I told her I'd teach Saturday. Sunday. Extra hours. But today, I can't. Sorry. She pretty much hung up on me.
But I am sorry. And I'm angry at myself for being such a baby.
I want to stop crying, but it seems like I can't.
I will miss you. #nyc #parkslope #lastview
3 hours ago