Monday, July 17, 2006

Wanker

Last night I decided to go for a walk. The rain had stopped but the mugginess was seeping back in though. After awhile I was all muggy myself so I decided to sit awhile on a bench at a bus stop. Buses that whizzed by were creating a lovely breeze.

A man passed by with an umbrella and a white "doctor's" mask on. He was pulling a shopping cart filled with something that looked like a net. He stared at me, and turned around a couple of times to look back at me while he was walking away. None of these things are unusual.

A few minutes later I heard footsteps and turned to see the same guy minus the cart walking toward me up the sidewalk. I noticed he stopped behind me as I glanced over my left shoulder. "Ah well," I thought, "maybe he's waiting for a bus?" I popped my earphone out, though, so I could listen in case he said something.

He didn't say anything, but yet I heard something. It kind of sounded like he was slapping his tummy. Or spanking his own ass. You know where this is headed, right?

So I turned around and sure enough, his shorts were down around his hips and he was showing himself a good time. I yelled at him, and he tucked it back in and scurried away, only to return a minute after and start all over again.

"YA! Byuntae!" (pervert) "Fuck OFF!"
"I gibbu money." He said, tugging harder. "Oh my Got! Oh YES!" he groaned.

I yelled at him again, and then chased him away with my umbrella. I was really enjoying my nice dry seat, and didn't want to relinquish my territory. But when he came back again and started up, I got worried he was going to try to land some goo on me, so I took off. He followed me, but I finally lost him.

Ah, another exciting night in Korea!

11 comments:

~J said...

That is hilarious! And scary.

Did he keep his surgical mask on during the wanking?

You should've taken his picture.

John McCrarey said...

I must say your life has a "Perils of Pauline" quality about it these days. Glad you are keeping your sense of humor!

sher said...

Oh my God!!! I think I yelled that at least 3 times as I was reading your post. You really do have so many things happening. I think you should work this all into a script someday.

Nomad said...

John,

Pauline had nothing on Jenn.

Jenn,

Too funny. But better you than me.

Dram Man said...

You know, that remininds me of another pervert I sighted. Wonder if its the same guy.

Kevin said...

The guy was only taking my advice.


Kevin

Kunsan AB said...

holy crapola! he's using my pick up line... what the hell!?

Nathan B. said...

I've been propositioned by a seventy year old lady here, and flashed point blank range by another. I was also flashed in the subway the other day by a young woman.

It's amazing how many Korean people, women mostly, have similar stories to yours. It seems to happen much more often here than back in Canada, where I'm from.

Jelly said...

~j! He did keep his mask on during. As I commented on Nomad's site:
"You know what Nomad, I DID have my camera with me- and it didn’t occur to me to pull it out and take his picture. I could have, though, very discreetly gotten it out and turned it on and he wouldn’t have known because he was behind me.
Chances are he would have liked it and came closer to “model” his goods for me.
I did consider taking out my wallet or something and pretending it was a cellphone and faking a call to the police. (I don’t have a cell.) But if he recognized I was trying to place a call on my wallet, he would have thought I was cuckoo too- and then REALLY want to party with me. Ha!"

John- I had to google "Perils of Pauline" to know what you were talking about! You're right, and I know it's true: it seems to be one thing after the other- hence the "Hits Just Keep on Coming: post. And they keep on coming and coming and coming.
Sher's right, I should write in earnest about it all. I'm only telling 1/3 of the story at best, but all of it's interesting.
Really,...good or bad, lately it's interesting as hell!
Kevin- that's just as ewwww now as it was back then.
Kunsan- ha! You must be popular with the ladies!
Nathan- thanks for commenting. Where "we're" from, though. You're new, eh?

Joel said...

Man what I wouldn't do to get stuff like this to happen to me~! I did have my package grabbed once on a bus in Yeosu.

hardyandtiny said...

Fuuny thing is many Koreans would say it's partially your fault. I don't know why, but it's true.