Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Survey Says!

On my walk around the other night - the one with the "byuntae" encounter, I was really amazed at the number of CATS I came across. Seriously, DOGS: 1, CATS: 7. I guess cats just aren't as apt to wander around in the daylight where they're likely to get kicked or hit with a thrown rock if they're not stealth enough to get away. Unfortunately, 2 cats I came across were injured. 2 had no tails- which isn't uncommon here or in Japan. I always call them "Bob."
"Hey Bob!" (kiss kiss kiss) "What'cha doing?"
All 7 cats were far more interested in getting the hell away from me then sticking around and listening to my kissy-kissy calls.

Likewise, I didn't mention that it wasn't just the "byuntae's" penis I saw. I actually saw 3. The second spot I chose to take a rest and just watch my environment was right across from a restaurant that was, by the sounds of it, pretty happening. Across the way (outside the restaurant's entrance, turn left, walk a bit) was a public washroom. I didn't notice it right away, but I guess the restaurant had no internal loo, as men kept exiting to drain their mains, so to speak. Within about 15 minutes if sitting there, I'd seen two more willys. One inbound (the guy had freed himself well before he was inside the washroom,) and one outbound (the guy took his dear sweet time pulling his shorts up after exiting.) The 1st guy was completely unaware of my presence. The second guy saw me just before he hitched himself up, and gave me a sheepish smile.

So, in the interest of research, I'm going to record all sightings of both cats and penises for a week.

Today I saw one cat. He lives with me, which might not be fair, but I SAW him nonetheless. I just now turned around twice in my chair and saw him two times. I'll only count one daily viewing, though. Seems fair. I went for a long walk after work, and think I probably would have seen more cats- but it's been pouring rain for 3 days here.

I saw one penis. A guy was peeing against a tent that serves "street food" on my way to work. As I passed him I used my peripheral vision just to say I'd seen a penis today.
(I could also say I've seen two more, from googling "average Asian penis size" but I'm going to just count VIRTUAL penises. (Penii?) Let's face it, with a little web surfing I could easily see a plethora of penises in the next 5 minutes.

Tomorrow I'll walk around after work again, and it may have stopped raining by then, which means definitely more cats and perhaps more penises. So, to sum up:

Cat and Penis Viewing:
Sunday: Penis: 3 Cats: 8 (Kamikaze included)
Monday: Penis: 0 Cats: 1 ( "" )
Tuesday: Penis: 1 Cats: 1 ( "" )


Jelly said...

I think "plethora of penises" is such a funny name, I'm considering renaming my blog.

Nomad said...

Well, if anything, you have a new and unique hobby.

~J said...

that's an awesome name!

this post is loaded with tons of hot keywords.
keep us informed about how many people come to your site searching for "cat penis" or "cat peni".

Nathan B. said...

Hilarious! It takes all sorts, doesn't it? I've been counting my own strange experiences: 1 70 something flashing grandmother, 1 30 something flasher, one ajumma who kneaded my buttocks for about four minutes while we were part of a single file line that threaded its way through an unusually crowded Myongdong, 1 thirty-something man who insisted on getting himself a but-rub with my hands (!) in a crowded subway when he had space ahead of him, and I had none anywhere, and 1 seventy something who asked me while I was in the subway to sleep with her. Whew!

And those are just the off color stories. Then there was that guy in the subway who went around poking at my eyes, something he did on three different days!