It was a long day today. (That's sort of stupid, as all days are the same amount of time, but you know what I mean.) I've neglected you, sweet blog. But I've missed you, if that counts for anything.
I bought myself a new pillow with a funky purple pillow case on Monday. I threw out the flat and surely germ filled plush pink rabbit I've been sleeping on for almost two and a half years. My new pillow is puffy and lavender scented, and I imagined it would provide me with deep restful sleeps I've been lacking.
Ummmm, not so much.
I woke myself up shouting sometime early this morning. In my dream, a spider with big hairy legs had grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me close to kiss me, only to bury his fangs deep into my lips. I woke up screaming "I WANT TO GO! LET'S GO! I WANNA GO!" to whomever was accompanying me in the dream. I don't remember who it was, but I remember they had told me that spider was alllllright, and not to worrrrryyy, and that my fear was killing their buzzzzzz. I woke up with the words I'd yelled still hanging in the air, and Kamikaze sitting upright beside my head with his eyes in those bug-eye "I'm scared" mode.
Sometime on Tuesday, during my first encounter with my new pillow, I woke up to see those big yellow "I'm scared" eyes looking at me again. A sound had woken me. High pitched and continuous, it was coming from me. Just before my face relaxed into it's normal position, I realized I was weeping. Tears had run out of the outer corners of my eyes and there were two pretty large wet spots on my pillow, on either side of where my head had been. I don't remember the dream much, but I remember I had been begging someone to spare someone (something?) else, and I had failed. And I was devastated.
Meanwhile, this morning I woke up with a horribly stiff neck and dull ache in the middle of my shoulder blades. Throughout the day, the pain creeped up into my head and formed a rebellious mutiny in my brain.
Nice work, stupid pillow!
[Notes - 12.2]Four weeks from departure
16 hours ago