Friday, October 13, 2006

Things That Make You Go Hmmm SUCK!

The Scissor Sisters. I downloaded a couple of their songs today. I'd heard of this band, though never listened to any of their music before. I wondered, after listening to them, if they took themselves seriously, and apparently they do. I worry my MP3 player might have broken because they suck so completely. It's a crime what they've done to "Comfortably Numb."

My local video store. For having one new copy of Hotel Rwanda which won and was nominated for a slew of awards. It's highly doubtful that this film sucked. Yet, beside the solitary video of H.R., there were FIVE copies of the straight-to-video movie The Defender. Starring Dolph Lundgren, this movie also features Jerry Springer as the President of the United States. 'Nuff said. Except to say that Lundgren's character is named "Lance Rockford." Haaaaaaaa!

My local video store staff. For giggling their silly asses off while watching White Chicks the whole time I was in the shop. For about half the time I was in there, one of the Wayans brothers dressed as, well, a white chick, sat on the toilet having explosive diarrhea. Comedy at its finest. (And wasn't that already done in Dumb and Dumber?)

The grocery store lady. Who jams so much heavy stuff into one bag I'm sure she hopes the bag handles will slice through my hand, relieving me of four of my fingers, before the bag breaks open and all the contents roll down the big-ass hill I've just climbed up to get home. Ha ha. So funny.

The lady who jumped the line. At the grocery store. And stood so close to me I mistook her for my long lost Siamese twin. The evil grocery store lady ignored her to finish dealing with me, and when I went to pay, I slid my arm up along the side of butt-in-lady until my elbow was level with her ear. (She was short.) And jabbed her in the head. She either didn't notice, or didn't mind.

Mr. Kim HeeBum. For sending me the exact same e-mail he sent
this blogger last April. Surely all of that "Twenty Four millions Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars" have been snatched up by now!

My boss. For responding to me saying, "The new teacher doesn't speak English very well at all," with "I know." What I was really hoping for was a *gasp* and a "Really?!? Well that will just not do!" (Today, the new teacher said two things to me: "Hello," and (pointing to a little boy) "she heb two pencil case."

Me. For losing one of my favourite earrings. Somewhere. When drunk. About two weeks ago. (But I just discovered it yesterday.)

Me. For calling my ex when I was drunk about two weeks ago. And meeting him last week. (It went well, but set me into a funk that's still smothering me.) I miss him.

Me. For being so bloody grumpy.

But then again, it's Friday.
The 13th.
Go figure.


christine said...

i always lose an earring when i'm drunk! it's a given at this point so now i only wear cheap, make-you-look-like-a-hooker ones when i go out.

Suzi said...

Hello, she heb two pencil case. Not the finest use of the language, but it cracke me right up!

You had much suckage on the 13th. Hope the 14th was less sucktacular.