Yes. It's the time of the year again where I attempt to figure out what the hell I'm doing. I'd already started thinking about the fast approaching end of my contract weeks ago, and my boss finally brought it up last week.
I started off by saying what I think I had said last year as well, "I think it's time to go, but I dunnnnnooooo." And I don't know.
I kind of wish there was a magical little lephrauchan who would show up soon and tell me the precise best route to take. And I kind of wish that I could stifle the urge to pound the little lephrauchan flat for budding in, who the hell does he think he is,...telling me what to do?!? Instead I'd take whatever advice he suggested and you could read an interview five years down the road in some magazine, say Forbes- (but more likely Chatelaine) where I'd gush that I never imagined, back in Korea that I could be so HAPPY!
It's true, though. I don't know what the hell I should do. Where should I go? Back to Canada? To do what? I have a vague notion of prolonged couch surfing and visiting - seeing people I haven't seen in years. I'd try to bond with my niece who I've only spent a couple weeks with in her five year old life. I'd meet my new niece. That'd be good. I'd visit with my grandparents, especially my father's mom- who recently fractured her back in a fall. I've only seen her three times in the last ten years.
But then what? If I come back to Korea, where will I store my stuff? What's going to happen with Kamikaze? Round trip for him? I don't know how he'll adjust to a new place. I worry.
My boss doesn't want me to go, and has said she probably won't hire another foreigner if I leave. Which is better, the devil I know or the devil I don't? I doubt I'll agree to another year here, but maybe I'll stay a few more weeks. I'm down to about seven as it is, until the end of my contract. I don't know.
Quite a few people have been asking what I'm planning to do, and I've so far managed to side step answering. Because the truth is, I don't know!