I had two shoes. Now I have four shoes.
I went shopping tonight and bought some new shoes. I got new shoes. I scouted them out the other night when I went to buy tiger lilies. I stopped in at the Everlast store because in the window there were these funky big soled running shoes embellished with glitter and rhinestones. If I haven't said it before, I'm saying it now, I'm a fan of "shiny." I like "sparkly." I suspect, in my former life, I might have been a crow.
Anyhow, I saw these funky glittery running shoes in the window, and I went in to check them out, knowing full well what the answer to my "Can I have them?" question was going to be.
"No. No you cannot have them. Piss off."
See, the trouble is I have North American sized feet in an Asian sized shopping mecca. Actually, I have large feet even on the North American sized scale of feet. (And yes, my penis is HUGE!) I'm size 10 in Canada, which makes me a 270 here in Korea. Actually I was just looking at an online shoe conversion site, which puts me at a size 260 in Korea, but that's bullshit. The sandals I'm wearing now are a 265, and they were snug when I bought them. My 270's I bought tonight had my big toe right snug up at the top. I could not have the pretty shiny girlie running shoes because they were just that: girlie. Here, women's' shoes stop at 255 (about a 7 and a half, eight from the show conversion chart.) I an S.O.L in Asia for shoes. I got2mensfeet in Asia.
So I got myself a pair of "unisex" shoes. They're Airwalks, and look very much these:
only mine are black and grey with some burgundy piping. It doesn't bode well for them being called "Old Boy" in Korea. I think that might be Konglish for "original." I would also bet there are very few Korean women wearing these shoes. They're all happy with their shiny, sparkly, glittery shoes. Damn them and they're silly small feet.
The bag my new shoes came in was a good choice. Kamikaze the Kitty is sliding across the floor with his upper half in the bag and his bottom half propelling him. He used to crack me up in Japan doing the same thing when he was a kitten, with the cute blue canvas bags they would tuck my rented videos into. I also broke out his favourite toy, my red laser gun, tonight. He doesn't know it's a toy. I think he thinks it a bright red pulsating bug. Lately, though, he's gotten a bit smart, and will chase it for a couple minutes and then stare at my hand which controls the laser beam. I tell him "I'm not doing nothing," but he doesn't buy it, and his accusing eyes bore into my soul. I hate when that happens.
I did, however, love it, when he brought his toys up onto my bed on Wednesday when I returned to work. I could be wrong, but it seemed like he missed me and my playing with his and brushing him. He hasn't done the dragging the toys around (as much so as I would notice) for a long time.
Last night, as I hung out my laundry, I noticed a cicada on my balcony. I moved him out of the puddle he was stuck in (it's been raining lightly a lot here) so he could dry out. By the time I was up, the cicada was dried out and making a sound like a baseball card on bicycle spokes. Kamikaze was all set to eat him, but I picked him up and he flew out of my hands, off into the forest. He was so big, I could see him a long way off.
Go on, little bugger. Let your freak flag fly.
Common Theory Public House
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