This is my big black pussy Kevin (the BIG HO) keeps splitting in half with his silly light saber.
Kamikaze Kamakiri Kitty is not impressed. He thinks Kevin is a bit of a douchebag. I tell him Kevin's okay, just misguided, but,....
Regardless,....it's MY birthday, so let's focus on that. They'll be belated, but if you require my address to send me gifts, let me know.
I bought myself a couple gifts, a bouquet of flowers and some way too expensive eyeshadow. I mentioned the eyeshadow already. The flowers, though, are kinda pretty.
I stopped by a flower shop, showed them some money, pointed at the flower cooler with many varieties, and said "yebudda juseyo" (pretty, please.) The lady yanked out a bunch of yellow and a bunch of peach roses. I pointed to another bunch of flowers, (mums?) and threw them in too. They are peach and yellow too. So she had all the flowers out, and then she bloody well raped them; cut their stems, stripped their leaves, and plucked all the outer petals of the roses. They ended up in a sunshiney mess on the floor. I'm no florist, but is this good for the flowers? Now they're all tucked into a vase I bought for them, but they're not looking so great. The roses' petals have curled under and turned into pointed triangles. The mums just look like they're about to die.
Soon, I'll put the vase on the ground and Kamikaze can eat 'em.
My brother called at about 12:05 to wish me a happy birthday. He noted I used to be only 5 minutes older than him, but now I'm 13 hours and 5 minutes older (and wiser!)
By the way, I'm a twin!
Tomorrow (while it will still be my birthday) I'll tell you about my brother.
Damn it to hell
2 hours ago