Ode to J-Bro

So, my brother. He ROCKS. I love him more than anyone on earth. What more can I say?

Well, I'll tell you one interesting thing. When I was 14 I looked across the foyer of my all-girls high school and saw a girl with very long hair. It was almost down to her bum, and gorgeous! I walked up to her and told her she had such pretty hair. She thanked me, and I asked "can I have it?" I have a tendency to ask people for things they have that I like. 99% of the time they say "uhhhhh, no!" Lori of the Long Hair said no, too. But this was the start of our friendship.

I used to sometimes go to her house after school. We'd hang out and talk about stuff and watch TV. I ate my first eggplant there. I was a little nervous about not liking it, and having to push my food around my plate, which is rude when you're a dinner guest, but it was AWESOME! So was Lori. She was so awesome I used to suggest that she marry my brother, and I marry hers, (Lino of the Very Blue Eyes.) I had it all planned out, she would be a dental hygenist and I would be a talented writer and we would meet in the afternoons to pick strawberries from the strawberry patch that separated our houses by the lake. We'd have tea. It would be fun.

Then Lino went and wrecked my plans and married Donna of the Calvin Klein. Ah well.

When our high school prom rolled around 5 years later, and Lori didn't have a date, I said "take my brother!" Why not? We were all friends, and I loved hanging out with him. She hemmed and hawed, but finally agreed. She looked beautiful in a peach princess waisted flower of a dress. Her mother was a bridal designer and made it for her. Around the bottom hemline of the puffy layers of crenoline were petals, maybe 6 layers deep, attached to the dress with hand-sewn pearls. I got drunk and tried to pluck her everytime she came near me. I am lovely.

As for romance between Jeff and Lori, nothing happened. I could feel my future vision of strawberries and tea falling apart, especially since Lori was headed off for am Art History/Psychology degree at York University, and wasn't studying anything at all related to the maintenance of teeth.

Sometime after prom, my brother started dating another of my friends, the lovely Kim. We all moved in together and had a great time until I headed off for my own degree at a university up north. Meanwhile, Jeff and Kim carried on living together until they're relationship started to fall apart. This was not the first of my friends my brother dated, and why not? I had some pretty kick-ass beautiful friends! Unfortunately, when things ended, they tended to end very badly, in that my brother would end his relationship, which would effectively end my friendship. Kim was no different, and their end-of-days was made even more traumatic than any previous one, because they had years worth of living together to divide, and Kim had her brother and father come on over to the apartment to stomp and smash my brothers things. Hmmmm. Water under the bridge, (yo Kim, I don't talk to you, but I ain't mad at'cha.)

So when Jeff and Lori let me know in the summer of 93, I think, that they had hooked up I wasn't very happy. I didn't want to lose another friend.

I didn't have to worry though. A mere six years later, they were married in the Bahamas. Dress designed by Lori's mom, gorgeous, and even though I got drunk then too, I never once tried to "pluck" her. I wish I had a picture to post here, because the wedding was beautiful. Picture blue skies, blue sea, sand, flowers, and a gorgeous and happy bride and groom.

And it all comes back to me, and my power to manifest destiny. Impressive.

Actually, it all comes back to my brother, who celebrated his birthday yesterday, in time with mine for about 11 hours. It was great growing up with him, an ally, a confidant, a co-conspirator. He is one very funny guy, and hands down, my best friend. My very best memories of life all have him involved in one way or another, and I can't believe I've been away from him for so long.

Jeff and Lori have a wonderful little girl I've only met once, even though she's almost 3 and a half now. They have a house I've never seen, and a business I've never been to. (Mmmmmmm toasted submarine sandwiches!) I miss them, and think of them all daily, many times. In this case, absence does make the heart grow fonder, and not fungus, like the Barenaked Ladies would have you believe.

Anyhow, Happy Birthday J-Bro. I love you.

And by the way, Lori, when she became a senior in high school and chopped off all her hair to one very dramatic short length, did give me a braid of it. It's still packed away with the rest of my life in some box in my mothers garage. Perhaps the morale of this story is, you can eventually get what you ask for, so ask away!