Hey Mom!

I had a conversation on the phone with my mother a couple weeks ago. She was all about dispensing advice. Her end of the conversation was like this:

"So, you grandmother and I went to the drugstore, don't get pregnant."
"And there was a sale on Vitamin E, don't get pregnant, which was good!"
"And after we went to get some, don't get pregnant, ice cream, and I got Rocky Road, don't get pregnant, which I haven't had in AGES, and it was SO, don't get pregnant, delicious!"

I kind of got the sense that she didn't want me to get pregnant.

This BUGS me. I'm not saying that I WANT TO get pregnant, but I'll tell you I WANT to have a family. It's what I've always wanted. Something about searching for a heart of gold and I'm getting old. Actually, I'm at the point where doctors are going to run all sorts of tests if I WERE pregnant, because of my age and it being considered a "higher risk" pregnancy.

I reminded my mom that I'm actually twice the age that SHE was when she got pregnant (with TWINS, no less) and got married to a jerk (aka dad) but she just can't see it. IF I were to come back to Canada preggers it seems like it would be the worst tragedy since (pick a tragedy) in her eyes. And this double bugs me.

I'm in my mid 30's and I've been living on my own since I was 19. I've been overseas for more than 4 years and managing to thrive. Yet, I still don't know how to fully convince my mother that I'm an adult.

I'm thinking about signing up for fertility treatments and showing up back home with a litter of quintuplets just to spite her! "Happy Birthday Mum, these are yours to take care of, I've gotta go teach more Englishee to people!"