Monday, November 06, 2006

What Do You Hate?

I woke up Sunday morning with something funky going on with my right ear. Today that funkiness has extended to my left one as well. It feels like I'm a bit deaf- but yet everything is amplified at the same time. It kind of sounds like I have the ocean in my head. Has anyone ever had that before? I have, and I'm sure I mentioned it before, but I'm too lazy to go back and look for it. It was sometime last fall I think.

So, what's worst about this phenomenon is that each of my individual students, who are chattering in Korean to each other or screaming my name over and over, now sound like they are TEN of the same student. Everything echoes and reverberates in the hollow chamber I call my cranium. It's overwhelming and had me in a frightful mood all day. To go along with the confusion in my brain, I had a decent sized headache and a massive sized toothache.

I've really GOT to do to the dentist. I've been saying I have to go for a loooooong time, but now I REALLY have to go. I'm fairly sure I require at least two root canals. I hate the dentist so much. It's quite possible I hate the dentist more than anything else in the world. I hate earwigs. And cilantro. And jazz fusion. My hate for these things, though, pales in comparison for my hatred of having to go to the dentist. I wish the dentist would knock me out with a big mallet before he goes to work on me.

On second thought, I hate war more than I hate the dentist.
Once, my friend Herbert almost reached his very large hand out to angrily choke me because I wouldn't engage in an argument (cleverly disguised as an intellectual discussion) on war, other than to simply state "War sucks," over and over. But SUCK it does. Thoroughly and utterly completely.

Thankfully it's fairly certain I'll never have to go to war. But to the dentist, go, I must.

5 comments:

annie said...

Dentists do suck, but at least here in Korea they're cheap.... take advantage!!

Maven said...

Hmmm... what do I hate?

Here's a short list of things that came to my mind right now:

Traffic;
People who abuse their children;
Bitter gourd;
Chawanprakash;
Menstrual cramps;
Clumpy cold grits;
Kidney stew;
Derma;
Kashka varnishkes;
Bakala;
Tripe;
Scungili;
Bluefish;
People who refuse to get help (Mental or physical);
Sudden onset explosive diarrhea with no toilet in sight;
Sleeping when I want to be awake;
Being awake when I want to be asleep;
Being horny when my spouse isn't;
Not being horny when my spouse is;
Not being independently wealthy;
Knowing that my quality of life would be greatly decreased if I had to support myself on my salary;
Troublemakers, gadflys, bette noirs, et al;
Territorial, backstabby or otherwise CUNTry women in the workplace;
Men who lack spines;
All characteristics my brother's wife represents;
Eating the same food twice in a row;
People who attempt to tell me how to live MY life;
Middleclass white folks who attempt to act "stereotypically ghetto;
Intolerant,proslytizing evangelicals who think they corner the market on God;
Being somewhat indecisive (see? I waffled right there) of my religious affiliation;
People who don't know how to communicate directly and spend entirely too much time talking behind folks' backs;
Multi-tiered marketing, pyramid, Ponzi or other "get rich quick" schemes;
People who talk on their cell phone at inappropriate times;
Bad drivers;
Men who stand and pee and insist on not wiping the rim or the seat;
Motion sickness on a boat;
Women who do the same with their menses;
Body odor;
Bad breath;
Bratty children;

Maven said...

PS: Now I have the image of that huge-assed mallet that Gallagher uses to smash melons in his shows...

Hope your tooth ache gets remedied toute-suite!

Jelly said...

Ha!
Hey Maven, I hate that I don't know many of the things you mentioned that you hate!

Anonymous said...

My understanding is educated Canadians are not expected to have serious dental problems as they take good care of their teeth everyday with flossing.