Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Ole' Poopy Pants

I am just out of the shower.

You can file this next bit under TMI, but just so you know...

I was starting to think I was feeling a bit better about half an hour ago. The Fist of Steel has eased up on my intestines slightly, and I hadn't visited the washroom in about 45 minutes. I stood up, and a sudden cough caught me unaware and I did, in fact, crap my pants.

There's a very good possibility I will be visiting a real hospital tomorrow and not my local ass-injection happy clinic. Hospital visits freak me out under regular circumstances, but even more so here or in Japan because I don't know what they're doing to me. It's days like this I really miss my mother. What a suck I am, but what do you expect? I need diapers.

I'm fucking charming. How are you?

4 comments:

Nomad said...

You're right; TMI, but it was hilarious. Food poisoning, perhaps? It's a miracle, but I've only had it once in the 10+ years I've been here and I've eaten at places that would make my Mom cringe. Hope you feel better soon.

Jef said...

I crapped my pants while grocery shopping once. I was almost done shopping, so I just went to the bathroom, threw away my soiled underwear, and proceeded to the check-out counter.

Ahh... memories.

(You started a blog and didn't tell me.)

Kevin said...

I did a Hershey's Squirt a couple times before, and it's not as though these happened a long time ago, either. One incident was... distressingly recent.

Doesn't bode well for middle age, and old age promises to be a nightmare for my caretakers. HA!

Be comforted: you aren't the only one to have signed your clothing.


Kevin

Jelly said...

That's funny! Embarrasing self-admissions of pant crapping brings the commentors out! I'd bet most, if not all people have crapped their pants at some point or other. Maybe guys are just more apt to admit it.

One morning my roommate came out of his fart infested room after a night of binge drinking. He stood in front of the TV we were watching in his robe. He gave us a morning stretch, followed by a squinty faced "I'm going to fart" look, which quickly morphed into "O" eyes and mouth, as he (and we) realized he shat himself. He left footprints as he duck-walked to the bathroom.

Ah... memories, indeed!!