Sunday, July 24, 2005

Details, Details

Yes, so. A call. It was nice to talk to him finally. We've been flitting around each other but not actually connecting for months. It started with a Christmas card he sent, which I finally got in February.

He's a smart, kindhearted fellow. We had fun, but he was technically my "rebound," if there's any legitimacy to that tired label. Our short lived affair ended after some silly argument, with my taking off to Scotland to try to mend my shattered heart.

Oh, boo-hoo.

This guy did, however, write me over the years, two of the sweetest letters I have ever received, but they went unanswered because I'm stubborn and lazy like that.

"Forgive me for fantasizing about all the things we could have talked about. A whole least. And at the most, you will say my appreciation of things runs too little, too late...but it is only in their later acceptance that I find their true worth. I do remember everything. And I can accept memory's lesson."


I picked these letters up from where they were hidden at my mother's house when I was last there over a year ago. And I have read them a few times when I was feeling bummed out. And I wondered what happened to him.

Now I know. He's doing well, single and (holy shit time is flying) now 40!! We've promised to keep in touch. We'll see how that goes.

Last night I had a crazy dream. We pulled over on the highway because there was some sort of protest/strike happening. The protestors/picketers were angry. There were overturned tanker trucks blazing and fires everywhere. And there were animals running around. I tried to catch them, and ended up walking around with two fat ducks, seven tiny mice, as many bunnies my arms could hold, and one calico kitten with huge paws. The rest of my dream was me losing and recapturing these animals. I finally constructed an airy white tent and put all the animals inside except the ducks. They sat on my lap.

I was admiring them and stroking their feathers, when one of them reared it's head back and plunged it's beak deep into the other one's head. It pulled brains out, and the now brainless duck went limp like a wind-up toy who ran out of wind up energy. A screen on the killer duck's belly appeared and read "Oh, did I ruin your fun?"

I woke up unnerved.

1 comment:

captain_howdy_girl said...

I hate it when ducks do that!