I had a dream last night that I was dead. Way up above, I was standing at this big panel of switches and knobs in front of this huge video screen. There was a giant map of the world with all these lights all over it. I asked what it was I was seeing, and was told it was a thought projection screen. All the lights represented people thinking about Shawn Matthews. There were a lot of lights, and it didn't surprise me, considering how often he's been in my thoughts these last few days.
I was interested, and asked them to show me my thought projection screen. A few buttons were punched and there was one single light. In Japan. I know you might be thinking I'm making this up, but it's true.
I looked puzzled. I had, after all, died. Why weren't people thinking about me? They changed the screen to explain why - my corpse lay in my apartment. Kamikaze cat was eating my arm. I understood no one knew I was dead yet. Then they punched in a few more buttons and showed the person thinking about me was a little spider monkey in a cage in Japan. He'd once tried to steal my bracelet off my wrist, and was sitting there wishing I would bring him some peanuts.
‘Tis the season
10 hours ago