It seems like because I'm at an impasse in regard to where I'm going and what I'm doing, the universe may be helpfully coordinating itself to help my decision along. It's manifesting in people. (Why not?) My boss is heading the cheering section for me staying, and while her motives might be pretty self involved, I still appreciate it. Coming in second is my pharmacist friend, and I adore him, so that makes me happy as well.
Otherwise, most people seem not to give a shit, or are unwittingly managing to "push me out the door," as it were. I continue to be on the outs with the other two co-workers. It doesn't make for the best work environment, and I was hoping things would improve this week, but they haven't so much. Really, the current situation just makes me realize how much the cohesion at work was solely due to MY efforts. Now that I've withdrawn that, the camaraderie has flatlined. What a load of bullshit.
And in other areas, I'm not so impressed with C. We'd made plans to hang out tonight, but once again plans changed because something else came up. (A meeting with all his old friends that happens about once a month.) That's cool, and I want to be flexible and understanding, but at the suggestion of me joining them, he nixed that, saying his friends "are bored" (by me) because they can't speak English. My status on the totem pole has been sliding, and it's not making me feel good. This all might be another post in itself, but probably not. Rants are so ranty, aren't they?
Meanwhile I'm thinking about going out tonight, for a bit, on my own. That's something I haven't done in a long time. But time is whizzing by and I'm not helping matters by hanging out here by myself feeling like a loser. I might as well share the fact I'm an idiot with the rest of Korea, right? I'm all buzzy because there's a World Cup game between Korea and the Swiss in about five hours. Might as well go soak up some hype while I can, eh?
Manila Sunset Grille (Mira Mesa)
20 hours ago