Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Sauced

I was watching a movie tonight and I heard a strange yet familiar sound coming from the parking lot downstairs. It was weird, though - as the sound didn't make any sense. It was the sound of a snow plow.

Thing is, we haven't had any snow really. It's snowed three or four times the whole winter (and I think winter is pretty much finished now - here, that is) but the snow never stuck to the ground for any amount of time. So it sounded odd to hear a snow plow grating its shovel against the pavement downstairs. I went to have a look off my balcony.

The noise wasn't what I thought. It was a guy driving his very nice SUV around the parking lot with his front end hanging off the vehicle and dragging along the asphalt. It was loud. The guy did about three figure eights around the buildings and he kept passing the spaces that were available. I don't think he could see them for whatever reason. He finally tucked his ride in a spot that wasn't a spot at all. People exiting the building across the way from mine and trying to get to the parking lot are going to have to climb over Mister SUV's hood.

The guy got out of his car and stumbled around to the front end and it looked like he was trying to replace his fender by lifting it and mashing it into to grill. That wasn't working out, though, so he instead tried to rip the whole thing off. He ended up losing his footing and falling backwards into the fence which slungshot him back into the front of the car and he let out an "Auuuggghhhuuuhh" and gave up - trying to steady himself against the hood before attempting the walk to his (my) building.

This guy was drrrruuuuunnnkkkk. He could hardly walk at all - and he pitched and heaved himself home like he was walking the deck on a rough rolling sea. I wonder if he's going to feel like an idiot in the morning and decide drinking and driving is retarded.

One can always hope.

In other news, my mom reported it snowed heavily for the better part of two days back home and the drifts in her backyard are waist high. My grandmother had surgery. After two weeks the doctors finally detected an abscess on her bowel. She's still doped up on morphine and demerol and being bedridden for almost a month now isn't doing her any favours.

Lawd, I wish I was home.

1 comment:

Kevin said...

Makes me think back to that joke told by Chuckie (Ben Affleck) in "Good Will Hunting"-- the one about his drunken uncle.


Kevin